What a Scary Thought

What happened to love being enough? When I was younger I was tricked into believing that people were always going to be married and in love; that’s how it had always seemed in movies. Some part of me still believes this which is why it makes it harder to believe maybe they had fallen out of love. What a scary thought.

I don’t want to live in a world where I am constantly surrounded by people falling in and out of love…I want to be submersed in love. Love for others, love for myself, love for my struggles. As my eyes are opened to this idea of love, I begin to realize that maybe it’s impossible; what a scary thought.

Maybe it is just as easy to fall out of love as it is to fall into it. What a scary thought.

With all these thoughts in my head I still find myself holding onto a glimmer of hope that maybe somewhere there are people who are living the fairytale that I can only hope to one day obtain. 

Dear Diary

I find that I fall so easy.
Convincing myself that he could be falling just as hard as I am.
Convincing myself that he could fall for my smile they way I thought his lit up a room.
Convincing myself that he could drown in my eyes the way his seemed to swallow me whole.
Convincing myself that he could enjoy my presence the way his turned my world upside down.
Convincing myself that he could see my flaws the way I had seen his;
Quiet reminders of imperfections that make him who he is.
They reminded me daily of why I had been falling so hard.

It's amazing how passing time can change your perspective