Excerpt From a Letter You'll Never Read #3

It always seemed that you had struggled to express just how you were feeling.
Like there were thousands of ideas and words hidden behind your eyes but you were too afraid to share.

Sometimes I wonder if that's why you were unable to express whether or not you had cared for me.
Truly cared.

I don't think I want to know whether or not that is true.
I feel as though whether or not you cared more then you had been able to express, it would hurt to know either way.

If you weren't able to express it, would things be different now?
If you were able to express it and simply didn't care...why did you stay as long as you did?

Why did I stay as long as I did?

What a Scary Thought

What happened to love being enough? When I was younger I was tricked into believing that people were always going to be married and in love; that’s how it had always seemed in movies. Some part of me still believes this which is why it makes it harder to believe maybe they had fallen out of love. What a scary thought.

I don’t want to live in a world where I am constantly surrounded by people falling in and out of love…I want to be submersed in love. Love for others, love for myself, love for my struggles. As my eyes are opened to this idea of love, I begin to realize that maybe it’s impossible; what a scary thought.

Maybe it is just as easy to fall out of love as it is to fall into it. What a scary thought.

With all these thoughts in my head I still find myself holding onto a glimmer of hope that maybe somewhere there are people who are living the fairytale that I can only hope to one day obtain.