Excerpt From a Letter You'll Never Read #3

It always seemed that you had struggled to express just how you were feeling.
Like there were thousands of ideas and words hidden behind your eyes but you were too afraid to share.

Sometimes I wonder if that's why you were unable to express whether or not you had cared for me.
Truly cared.

I don't think I want to know whether or not that is true.
I feel as though whether or not you cared more then you had been able to express, it would hurt to know either way.

If you weren't able to express it, would things be different now?
If you were able to express it and simply didn't care...why did you stay as long as you did?

Why did I stay as long as I did?

Excerpt From a Book That Remains Unwritten #5

Everything was happening so quickly, one thing after another.

Everyone was always checking in and helping and being supportive but now that everything's settling down I feel so lonely sometimes.

I was so busy and wrapped up in everything that I forgot how to live, I lost myself.

Now, I'm trying to learn how to be all of those things for myself again.

I'm trying to remind myself that I deserve all of those things again.

Excerpt From a Book That Remains Unwritten #4

I feel like it wasn't my choice.
I didn't have the chance to realize that maybe I should grow up and change.
I had to in order to adapt to the world I had been thrown into.
I feel like I'm learning now, after everything that I am already grown up.

It happened when I was trying to deal with everything else.

A Work In Progress

Change terrifies me
but at the same time I find that I crave it so intensely

I feel as though I'm stuck in these ruts of mundane routine
grasping at anything that will wake me up
from the safe consistency of everyday life.